Mad About Multiples!

Two Parent Participation Preschools? Call me crazy.

We're taking one from the archives today, as mom Amy M. talks about having her twins in two preschools. Don't forget to join us tonight at the Cambrain Library for a parent panel discussion about all kinds of preschool options. Everyone is welcome!

~The Mad About Multiples Team

I am one of the few crazy people who signed up at two parent participation schools.  Both kids in both schools.  Yes, I know.  CRAZY.  Let me explain.

My kids (and I) were in the Together Time program at Explorer Preschool and one of the added bonuses (which I didn't initially realize) is that we had priority placement in the 2's class.  Yippee!  At the same time, I felt responsible for checking out other programs and schools in the area and had always heard rave reviews for the Los Gatos Saratoga Observation Nursery School (aka the Mountain School) so we attended the family open house and submitted an application.

This is where I should insert my rant:  it truly annoyed me to be making pre-school decisions for my children when they were ~20 months old.  Both Explorer and Mountain School are difficult to get in to for the 3's class (I was told 'virtually impossible' at Mountain School) so I felt like wherever we ended up for our 2's class would most likely be where the kids would be going to pre-school for the next 3 years.  I abhor the rat race mentality and here I was, embarking down a road that felt very, very rat-race-ish.  Mostly, I felt like I had so much more to learn about each of my children's very different personalities and learning styles and it was difficult to make a decision for them.  What kind of environment would they best thrive in?  

Math Challenged

by Kathleen

When the IVF doctor suggested genetic counseling, you might think we’d be concerned for the rates of cancer, diabetes, or stroke in our families.  Not so.  Instead, our greatest fear was that we were going to pass on our left-brained challenges in the areas of science, technology, engineering, and math.   My husband and I wondered if it was fair to bring our twins into the 21st century without any promising family history in these areas.  My husband is dyslexic, likes ceramics, and teaches Foreign Language.  I'm a liberal studies/drama/political science wonk who finally passed High School Geometry on my 3rd attempt.   Seriously, it's bad – on the math section of the SAT, I even got the example question wrong. 

Realizing the math deficiency we were passing on to our kids, we decided we had to give them every advantage possible.  We purchased 'must have' math toys starting with the black-n-white geometric crib mobile and continuing all the way through Legos two years later.  All in the hope that our kids would use their natural curiosity to explore math concepts and build the left-brain synapses that hadn’t gotten wired in their parents.   Now here's the part where I tell you how successful I was and how my kids are able to do the Rubik’s Cube at age 2! Unfortunately, I think the only ones benefiting from my math-anxiety-fueled purchases are Amazon, Lakeshore, and Montessori.

In nearly every room of our house, there are puzzles, Duplos, Legos, counting/sorting toys, and patterned blocks - all neatly assembled and collecting dust.  When 2 ½ year old Maximo and Sophia play with them, it's usually in ways that the toy designers never intended.  I doubt my kids are strengthening their analytical and reasoning skills when they dump over puzzles and use the pieces like ninja throwing stars.  Or when they use Duplos and Legos to decorate play dough and make colorful dinosaur food.

All of my playgroup mothers assure me that they will come around and not to worry.  Yet at the same time, they are giving me their knob-puzzles since their kids have moved on to the 3-D ones. I already feel that my kids are on the wrong side of the educational divide and I'm not sure how their ability to memorize all the lyrics to Oliver and Sound of Music will help them bridge that divide.  I've decided that my only hope is to download every Schoolhouse Rock math and science song in order to build upon their musical base.  Maybe there's an immersion school whose students sing all of the content material? I may need to look into starting this type of charter school by the time my kids reach kindergarten.  Otherwise, I think my entire college fund will be spent at Kumon learning centers.  Sigh.

Preschool Pangs: End of pre-preschool friendships?

By Kathleen

As September is upon us I'm having mixed feelings about the beginning of preschool. Not for my children, although the cost of preschool times two gives me pause, rather it's the reality that our 2009 Gemini Cricket group is dividing from each other based on their zip codes. Unlike the Las Madres group that is based on your neighborhood, Gemini Crickets asks only that your group form based on the months your child was born. Even that 'barrier to entry' is malleable as we have expanded upon the contours of what a winter/spring baby really is.

For my group, Jan-June 2009, the result has been a wonderfully diverse group of women who come to the Friday playgroups from  Menlo Park, Saratoga, Sunnyvale, Willow Glen,  South San Jose, and East San Jose. There's little chance we would have crossed paths in any parallel universe except for the fact we all have twins. The enrichment goes far beyond getting to know fabulous parks in other neighborhoods. Rather, it has been so liberating to meet women who think differently, live differently, and have such varied personal stories and histories from my own. The past two years of meeting almost every Friday and sharing our trials, tips, laughter, tears, and bottles of wine has carried me through what we all know is a time of no sleep, no sex, and even those days of no showers. The 'sorority' feel of our group is second only to the fondness our kids have for their friends who they greet and say farewell to with kisses and hugs. 

I'm trying to anticipate and prepare for the next few weeks when our group's first year of preschool is pulling our group into five different schools with just as many altering schedules.  Hope runs high as we've all pledged to continue our playgroup and more importantly our mom's night outs.   The elephant in the room is that we all know this is just the beginning as we stratify even more when kindergarten and elementary school is upon us and we insulate ourselves in our niche neighborhoods and new support networks.  I'm so grateful that our group has met from when our kids were six months old till now and has a solid foundation that won't let the fact we're in separate preschools keep us from continuing our playgroup. It may morph into something new and different but heck, what are twin moms if not flexible?

However, there is a part of me that reverts back to the girl in the 6th grade who is losing her friends to the private middle school and hearing my mom's reassurance as she sings the  Girl Scout song 'Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold'. God, this is getting pathetic, time to call my Gemini Cricket crew and plan our next Moms Night Out!

 

This is an original post to Mad About Multiples.

BACK TO SCHOOL? BACK TO THE MUSEUMS!!!

 

This post was origanally published on Sepember 20, 2009 to Mad About Multiples.

By Nora Kim

I think I was one of the last moms to join our playgroup - so my kids are just a couple months younger than most of the other kids.  I thought we would all be on similar school schedules, but turns out those few months made a big difference, as we have January birthdays.  This Fall we looked on wistfully as most of our playmates started Kindergarten, while we still had one more year of preschool.  We sighed, and then started planning some Fall outings.

I don't like summer crowds (maybe because we have lost our kids so many times??)  But, in general, I stay away from any place where I may have to smell be with lots of other people - museums, zoos, amusement parks.  (We are the family that visited Disneyland in January during a rainstorm!)  I haven't made the pilgrimage to the SF Academy of Sciences, and I have even avoided the new Seahorse exhibit at the Monterey Bay Aquarium.

 

 

But with almost everyone back in school, I decided to venture out into the world again.  I really wanted to camp with the boys at New Brighton Beach, but getting reservations there is like trying to get into French Laundry.  But lo and behold, we were suddenly able to get a premium site on the bluffs overlooking the ocean on a late August Sunday night.  I booked the site, and we enjoyed a huge campsite on the bluffs with no neighbors on either side of us for the bargain price of $35.   "Wow!" my husband and I thought.  "This is really great."

Communicating with Signs

Many people are using sign language to bridge the communication gap when babies are unable to communicate vocally. We began using signs at about 5 months and I remember how eager I was for my little boys to start signing with me to tell me what they wanted. I remember placing them in their exersaucers and standing in front of them to run through all of our signs a few times a day. I felt a little silly, but it was also fun. I turned it into a little song and dance. I also used the signs throughout the day when I could apply them to the context. Ronan first started signing with "more" at 8 months, both were signing "all done" by 10 months. "Eat/food" was also an early sign (11-month-old Ronan is signing "food" in the picture).

I have a deaf cousin and have always regretted not fully learning sign language to communicate better with her. She was part of the inspiration that led me to wanting to teach my boys to sign.

The first signs I used were: Daddy, Mama, more, cat, food, milk, and change (for diaper). I read a few books on the subject and felt prepared to expand on these signs as the boys grew older and had more applications. I started with "Baby Signs" sign language, but found it too difficult to use in context, especially the ones using just the mouth (like "fish" and "frog") because I couldn't say the word at the same time as signing it. I didn't realize how many of the "Baby Signs" were modified from standard ASL (American Sign Language). I felt like an idiot using some of the modified signs when trying to speak with my cousin. I recall trying to show her some of my great newly learned signs and she gave me such a puzzled look. I decided to use only ASL, even though some signs are a little more difficult for little hands.

When the boys were about a year and a half old, I enrolled us in the "Play and Sign" class at the Campbell Community Center. While it would have been great to take the class when the boys were younger and I was just learning the ropes, it was still very good timing. The class reinforced my desire to expand our signing vocabulary and it reinforced signing with my little guys. The class covered 50+ practical signs and we had a really great instructor. One of my friends was expecting at the time so she accompanied me to the class, since I paid for the class per child, my friend was essentially free. I got help and she got the class. Win-win!

I love using the "Sing and Sign" series by Anne Meeker-Miller. The books are full of fun songs to use with your signs, illustrations and descriptions of the signs, and some fantastic ideas for home-made toys and games to further introduce the signs and integrate them into imaginative play. The music is great and is still one of our favorites. The boys request to listen to it often, and signing to the songs helps to pass time when having to wait in lines or traffic jams. We can even use the signs to sing the songs silently, using just our hands.

Another benefit from signing is the ability to speak to my children from across the room without raising my voice. I've found it very helpful in teaching my boys manners. I can hint to them when to say "please" and "thank you" without saying the words. 

My boys are now two-and-a-half and we still use signs regularly. I'm trying to learn more, too, so that we can continue our signing education together over the coming years. I'm looking forward to future conversations with my cousin, she is very pleased with our progress. It has been a great experience all around!

After The Split

By Linda/mommytwingirls

Two girls. Two classrooms. Two parties. Many of us parents of twins have made (or will make) the difficult (for some, agonizing) decision to split up our twins (or triplets) into separate classrooms once they reach school age. Sure, much of the argument and critical decision points have to do with how each twin learns, how both behave when they're together versus apart and many, many other considerations. But here's another point that's not discussed as much until after the fact, the burden on the parent(s) to cover each twin's classroom events.

Noone warned me how many different activities and events my girls would be involved in at school. Forget the non-school activities like swimming, Tae Kwon Do, soccer, Daisy troop, etc., etc., etc. I'm just talking about school stuff. I'm the lucky one in our family. As a photographer, I have the ability to create my own work hours - which usually means scheduling photo shoots around anything going on at my twins' school that would require or encourage parental participation. My husband usually experiences more complications in coordinating such things. And while he's very good about planning ahead at work to make it possible to attend a school event, sometimes he simply...can't. Or at times, he just can't stay very long.

Seeing Double at Preschool

By Amy Trayer

When you first walk into the 4 year old class at Explorer Preschool, you will probably see 25 very busy children building blocks, looking at books, writing in journals, eating a snack, painting, dressing up, riding bikes, making mud pies in the playhouse or playing with the classroom pet rat, Dolly. What you might NOT notice right away is that there are SEVEN sets of twins in the class. Yep, you read that right - over half the class is twins. It doesn't end there.  Two out of the 3 teachers in the class are a twin and 2 parents in the class have identical twins. Twins definitely rule in this preschool classroom.

 Why so many twins in one class? Let’s just say word travels fast in the twin community and a few years ago several of us who had twins quickly spread the word on the Gemini Crickets online forum about this fabulous parent participation preschool. The play-based, developmentally appropriate curriculum and parent education is why you come to Explorer. Reality is as a parent of multiples (or even two small children) preschool can be quite expensive so affordable tuition is a big draw as well. We didn’t all know each other ahead of time – there were two new families that just happened to register and that just happened to have twins also. This class was destined to have many multiples!

Seven sets of twins on the class roster meant we had more children than parents. Scheduling 6 working parents in the classroom per day could get a bit tricky. Each parent of twins works double (2 times per week, instead of 1) and luckily we have a fabulous class rep who does all of the scheduling AND who happens to be a twin herself AND has a set of twins that graduated from Explorer’s 4Day class 2 years ago. Thank goodness our class rep is a twin “sympathizer.” We all breathed a sigh of relief. If anyone could manage this crazy schedule, she could!

 It’s been so much fun seeing all the twins in action. We have a great mix of boys and girls: 2 sets of g/g twins, 2 sets of b/b twins and 3 sets of b/g twins. They are all fraternal too! Having a sibling in the class is definitely an advantage, but it’s also important that they create other friendships as well – something we are all working on with our children. All the twins have been split up into different small group times and more often than not, they choose to sit next to someone other than their sibling during whole group times.

Other than having to work double in the classroom, having twins in the 4Day class means double the laundry! Each child wears the Explorer T-shirt 4 days per week which means 8 shirts that need washing plus some extras (coming home messy means a good day at school). Most families carpool and luckily I was able to find two other moms with cars as big as mine that can fit 4 booster seats.

Personally, I have really enjoyed watching my boy/girl twins grow and change over the last 3 years at Explorer. This is the first year I’ve watched them be more independent from each other. My son, who in the past would want to play only with his sister, is now seeking out other children to play with and creating friendships. They will start kindergarten next year and the big question for most parents of multiples is whether to keep them in the same class or separate them. Some schools already have a policy in place, but our home school does not. I probably won’t know what my preference will be until the end of this school year because something tells me my twins are going to change a lot in the next few months.

 If you do visit the 4Day class at Explorer, you might not notice the 7 sets of twins when you first walk in because each child has a unique personality. What you will notice are the 7 tired parents of twins who are working double time because being at Explorer is so worth it!

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Explorer Preschool will be hosting an Open House on Monday, January 31, 2011 from 9-2.

Original post to Mad About Multiples.

 

My New Year's Resolution: Bucking the Trend (with a book giveaway!) -- Winner Rebekah!

By Patricia N.

As the year 2010 draws to a close, I become more seasonally reflective of my family's life in general and of my children's lives more specifically. It is an American tradition to make resolutions, goals, at the onset of each new year and, for me, this year is no different. In fact, perhaps because at the tender age of 4 years old we stand on the cusp of full blown socialization with the rest of the world, i.e., on the threshold of kindergarten, I find my resolutions this year to be more poignant. As all mothers know, it is a bittersweet perspective to watch our children grow, explore, and, at times, get hurt in the process of learning. It seems like just yesterday that they were my precious little peanuts swaddled in baby blankets when my biggest concern was getting them to sleep through the night. But Father Time callously marches along while my babies' childhood falls to the wayside amid the debris of hastily captured photos and videos. Suddenly I am here: now is the time for me to guide them without smothering, to teach them without imposing.

My New Year's resolution for my children for 2011 is deceptively simple. Happiness. What parent does not want this for his/her child? Yet Dr. Fred Luskin, a Senior Consultant in Health Promotion at Stanford University, points out that we have fallen into a "cultural trance" where we equate future success of our children with a model of consumerism, where "economic value placement" supersedes the more intangible yet sociologically proven predictors of happiness: the quality of our relationships, our ability to make a positive contribution to society, and our innate sense of gratitude and appreciation for our current circumstances. We are more inclined to ask about our children's grades in school than their friendships. We already envision our kids pursuing more high income and perhaps more glamorous professions rather than careers that might be more fulfilling befitting each child's personality. And we (myself above all!) find ourselves bemoaning our financial plight, especially in the midst of this recession dictating a frugal holiday season, rather than wallowing in the gratitude of the possessions that we already have.

To Video Game or Not To Video Game? That is The Question (and Video Game Giveaway!) -- Winners Tracy and Rebekah!

By Patricia N.

Our 40-inch flat screen t.v. hangs from our wall, a dark, silent (and dusty) testament to our anti-digital anti-high-tech childrearing philosophy despite living in Silicon Valley. We send our boy/girl twins to a Waldorf-style preschool.  We shun movie theaters for family entertainment. We only eat foods that we grow in our backyard and we all wear clothes made from hemp. Okay, that last sentence was a lie, but the rest is true.

So when I attended a video game launch event for Sesame Street at the digitally enhanced children's museum Zeum in San Francisco, I attended with the proverbial grain of salt tucked away in my iPad (apparently my anti-techie biases hypocritically do not extend to yours truly). I must confess, however, that the speakers presented a compelling argument for educational video games in general and for their products, Elmo's A-to-Zoo and Cookie's Counting Carnival for the Wii and Nintendo DS, in particular. Yes, my children absolutely LOVE digital media, television, computer, smart phone, etc. I'm just not sure I do. Will video games impede their social development? Will they become anti-social psychopathic serial killers? Or, as Sesame Street and Warner Brothers assert, will these video games give my children an educational advantage in their formative pre-kinder years while promoting healthy child/parent interactions with an educational focus?

Homework - It's not just for the kids

By Alexia

When our sons were in kindergarten, the homework assignment to commemorate the hundredth day of school was for each child to create a collection of one hundred objects. One son collected 100 feathers, and one collected 100 pebbles. Their dad helped them to organize displays of their collected objects to share with their classmates and teacher, and a good time was had by all, as far as I know.

Last year, when our sons were in the first grade, they were in separate classes for the first time. One son's teacher sent a week's worth of exercises home with the kids every Monday for them to turn in that Friday morning, while the other son's teacher gave the students daily homework assignments, to be turned in the next day, every day. At the parent-teacher conference with this teacher, I nodded silently as she explained that developing a daily homework habit is essential for first graders because, when they get to high school, they're not going to be given weekly homework packets.

This teacher's assignment for the night before the 100th day of school: "Tonight your child needs to complete one hundred words. They can write them, paint them, cut them out of a magazine, or create a pop-up book with them, but they must complete 100 words. That's the only homework for this evening. They do not need to complete the assignment in their reading response journal tonight." Well, thank goodness for that, I thought. For a moment I was afraid we'd get so caught up in the fun of the 100 words project that we'd lose all track of time and overlook our nightly entry in our reading response journal!

Back To School - Managing Homework

By Patti S. (guest author)

When my son was in Kindergarten, homework was easy to manage. Most of the week's assignments fit on one page. To prepare for first grade, I decided to use an accordion folder to organize his paperwork. I labeled the sections: homework, completed, class work and teacher's notes.

On Mondays, he receives a homework packet with a summary page. I post the summary near his desk and file the homework to be completed in the first section. He looks up that day's assignment and pulls them from the folder. When he's done, he files them in the "Completed" section. At the end of the week, the completed packet is ready to be returned to class.

If you have multiple kids, have them choose a colored folder. As they bring paperwork home, stack the sheets for each child and run a corresponding felt pen across the top edge. Color marking the pages will help you keep track of unclaimed work.

 

This is an original post to Mad About Multiples.

Guest author and resourceful mom, Patti S. has been organizing her room since age 5. She is mom to a first grader. Read more tips on her blog Inspiration.

Back to Preschool (yeah or boo) Part Two!

Well, it is almost the end of another school year.  My kids went from going to preschool one day a week with me last year, to going to school 3 days a week this year.  Two of the days I went and one day they went with their carpool mom.

This was a big step for me!  I initially thought that the kiddos would have a hard time separating from mommy and going to school with someone else, but the reality is they look forward to Thursdays when their carpool Mommy picks them up ( hmmm . . . . this seems like a whole other blog topic! )

Watching my precious little ones drive off in another mom's car was really tough for me.  I love my carpool mom and trust her entirely, or else there is no way that I could let my kids drive off with her!  It is very strange to not be a part of their school day, though, on Thursdays.  Every since I stopped working two years ago to stay home with the kids, I have been around them the majority of the time (occasionally we "let" one of the grandmas steal them overnight =)  But to not be around them to guide their choices at school, or to change them out of their wet clothes, or see how they are interacting with the other children has been harder on me than I anticipated.

In case of an emergency, call . . .

Let me introduce myself.  I am Klutzy Kelly, at least that is what my family has called for me for as long as I can remember. I have to admit it though - I do live up to the name! I trip over my own two feet, probably drop more things than my kids, and in general am just not very graceful (I would not have made it very far as a wait person for sure.  Everyone would have been wearing their meals instead of eating them!)

So, the other day I decided to re-organize my closet.  Our sliding closet doors recently broke and we removed them, leaving our closet wide open. I thought it would be the perfect time to put some order into the chaos.  The tiered step stool was in the garage and dusty and I was just too lazy to clean it.  I grabbed a kitchen chair and went to work. I was trying to place something on the top shelf, and, once again, was too lazy to get down and move the chair, so I stretched over to try to get the box positioned where I wanted it.

All of a sudden I felt the chair tipping, so I leaned the other direction.  As often happens when fishtailing in a car, I over-corrected and tipped the chair too far in the opposite direction.  My closet floor (which is only  2 1/2 feet from front to back) is tile and the rest of the room is carpet.  Can you guess which part I landed on??  Considering that I was on my tiptoes on the chair, my head probably traveled about 7 feet until it collided with the tile. I could not stand up - that much was for sure.  I sat against my bed and watched everything in front of me shake all around, like snow inside of a snow globe!  The kids were watching T.V. and had no idea what had happened.  Which got me thinking . . .

If I had been knocked unconscious what would have been my kids' reactions?  Daddy was out of town, so he wasn't coming home that night.  We have gone over some emergency scenarios, but, admittedly, we don't do it routinely.  Complicating everything, I have now realized, is that we opted at the beginning of the year to eliminate our land line and only have cell phones.  Great for the budget, not so great if a 4 year old has to make an emergency call and I have the cell phone on "lock" mode.

Yes, as my head was jiggling like jello, these thoughts were racing through my mind.  I don't know how long I sat there (there must have been a really good show on Sprout to keep my kids entertained for so long!) I thanked God that I wasn't seriously injured and realized that I have a lot of homework to do with the kids.  But not at that moment!  As calmly as I could, I called my daughter through and asked her to bring me my cell phone, which I had left on the kitchen counter.  I called my dear mother-in-law and humbly asked for her to come over, and then called my doctor.  My MIL drove me and the kids back to her house for the night and babysat all three of us!

 So how much should I teach the kids?  I have told them that in an emergency (fire, etc.) they may open the front door (I never let them do this otherwise), even if it means that the house alarm goes off. We have wonderful neighbors and I have told the kids that if there is a fire they should immediately go to our neighbor's house and pound on the door, even if it is the middle of the night.  We have gone over dialing 9-1-1, but not to the extent that I now realize we need to.  I have heard stories of preschoolers calling

9-1-1 and helping their parents, and now know that I need to practice this so much more with the kids. 

Since we no longer have a house phone, I need to teach the kids how to dial numbers on both my cell phone and my husband's.  My MIL told me that when her boys were younger she had her mother's number written in big numbers by the phone in case of an emergency, but ultimately her boys used it to call grandma when they felt that mom was being unfair!  At any rate, they knew how to dial the number. If my cell phone is turned off or locked, what then?  And I have a Blackberry, so the numbers aren't automatically available and when you do get to the numbers, it is a touch screen and not raised buttons. As much as I don't relish the idea of the kids "playing" with my cell phone, I think that I need to allow the kids to practice dialing numbers on it so that they do know how to use it in case of an emergency.

Two days before I fell, we had an earthquake during the day.  The two earthquakes that I have felt since the kids were born were both at night when the kids were already asleep and I didn't feel the need to discuss earthquakes with them at that point.  Our latest earthquake happened in the morning.  While we didn't feel it because we were driving down our street, our electrician certainly felt it, and was outside getting a few breaths of fresh air.  He had been getting ready to go into the attic when his wife called his cell phone and said there had been an earthquake.  Just as he was about to tell her he didn't feel it, the ground starting shaking! We arrived seconds later and the kids heard this whole story as he relayed it to me.  I then realized my little ones had no idea what we were talking about.  Before we went into the house, I sat outside with them and explained that the earth needs to shake a little bit now and then and that it is totally normal for this to happen.  I then asked them what they thought we should do during an earthquake and guided them towards the correct answers (steer clear of windows, go under the table if close to it, etc.) For Christmas the kids received a wonderful book about space and earth and we sat and read about earthquakes the next day.

Ditch the Duct Tape: Redirecting Children's Behavior

The meeting topic, “Redirecting Children's Behavior”, must have implied that there *is* hope out there for dealing with the terrible twos (and threes) and with sibling rivalry, because Gemini Crickets members came out in droves, with 70 anxious-to-learn parents in attendance. On August 19th, the New & Expecting Parents and General Meeting joined forces to bring Etsuko Tsukagoshi, mom to two young boys and a certified Redirecting Children's Behavior course instructor, up from San Diego to discuss age appropriate strategies to keep familial peace - - all so that we, crazy parents of multiples (and then some in a few cases), can create closer connections at home.

Etsuko's normal RCB course is a 12.5 hour program, but she was up to the challenge of whizzing through the highlights, providing participants with an informative overview of the concept of redirection and some important tips on how to get started. If you were unable to convince your in-laws or friends to watch you children (ideally for free), hopefully this summary will explain the definition of redirection, as well provide a few techniques you can try with your kids, in both the areas of the “terrible twos” as discussed in the NEP meeting, and sibling rivalry, which was the topic of the General Meeting.

"Redirecting Children's Behavior", or RCB, is a positive discipline program that incorporates accountability, limits, encouragement, communication and responsibility. With RCB, the role of the parent is to remember that all of our children's' behavior has a purpose and that our job is to investigate and be curious, so as to find out what exactly is behind their actions. Even=2 0the most annoying of behaviors, which include but are not limited to (the following are real-life examples, as provided by GC members): whining, pointing & screaming, hair pulling/fighting/pushing, and the constant yelling of “mine”. Redirecting means to diagnose the misbehavior and then teach the child to get his/her needs met appropriately, so they no longer feel the needs to misbehave. When misbehavior is stopped by distracting the child's attention, it will usually start back up again. Redirecting misbehavior addresses the underlying cause of the misbehavior, not just the symptom! The methods of redirection teach parents how to become calmer and more confident and empowers moms and dads to teach their children to be responsible and cooperative.

Back to school: Ben and Lily's first few weeks of kindergarten is a mixed bag

On Tuesday, August 25th, my twins Ben and Lily had a big day - they headed to kindergarten at our neighborhood public school. It was an exciting morning! The First Day of School Fairy came (thank you for the idea Makes and Takes!) and brought the kids new lunchboxes, thermoses, some craft projects and Peanut M&Ms for an after school treat. We jetted off on scooters to settle in and get introduced. It was a bit disorganized - no true kindergarten orientation and we got the schedule for the morning at 10:30 as we were leaving...a nice memory, would have been nice to have that BEFORE the morning began! But all in all, a successful initial start.

Ben and Lily are in separate classes and Jeff took Lily to her class, while I started in Ben's. I teared up a little as Ben's teacher read "The Kissing Hand" (one of our favorite books that we've had for a long time, courtsey of Nana Sandy)...not really because they were going to kindergarten, but it was sort of a twin parent moment. I wanted to soak in Ben's first day, but I was also a bit sad to be missing Lily's first moments. It is always hard to feel pulled in two different directions with twins (oh, the guilt!). But, as it turned out, Ben's teacher was quick to turn us parents loose, while Lily's teacher took her time, so I was able to luckily make it over to Lily's class and hear her teacher read "The Kissing Hand" as well (and to get my special kiss!). Having Ava there as well complicated things just a bit, but she was very patient and excited to see what this kindergarten was all about, so it was fine.

The Convenience Factor of Preschool

My twins, Angelina and Madeleine, go to preschool. But they stay in the car. Their older sister attends Challenger. Challenger is a circle pick-up and drop-off. This is a life saver. It would not be fun to strap three children into the car, park, take all three out, walk to the classroom, drop off one child, walk back to the car, strap two in, then leave. Not to mention doing the same routine in opposite order for pick-up time! (Doesn’t just thinking about it exhaust you?)

 While I don’t have experience in having multiples in preschool, I have learned two practical factors to consider in choosing a preschool:

Making the Least Bad Choice: 4-year-olds in Kindergarten

I felt the slight sting of her eyes, the disbelief. I rambled on...separate classes, last minute decision, it was the least bad choice. I felt uncomfortable and apologetic. What had I done?

Oh, I might as well say it. I put two 4-year-olds in kindergarten..

4-years-old and in...the new first grade kindergarten.

I KNOW! For shame, I'm a bad mom. My boys will fail. They'll slow down the system, siphoning off a teacher's precious time. It's not like I'd gone into this not knowing. I KNEW the stakes. I'd done the research. I'd queried friends. I'd watched my boys' behavior over the summer, searching for signs of kindergarten readiness.

For the uninitiated, kindergarten readiness has more to do with social readiness than academic readiness. Teachers can bring kids up to speed academically, but they can't teach maturity. My boys are bright and hit most of their milestones early - it's not that. It's mostly because of their age and the plethora of negative anecdotal evidence which abounds.

Save for one family, nobody in my circles, it seems, puts a 4-year-old into kindergarten. I am the odd one out.

Who Loves Preschool More? Me or Them?

 As a parent in a parent participation preschool, starting school again is not only exciting for my kids, but for me as well!  I have been missing the other parents that I have gotten to know so well last year in the 2's class and then I had a chance to meet some new parents during summer school.  So this year in the 3's class we will all be together and I can't wait to get back!  I have come to rely on the school community very much - the parents are some of my closest friends and the teachers' experience and knowledge about child development has forever changed me as a parent.

We started at Explorer Preschool when the twins were only 19 months old in a Together Time for Parents and Toddlers class.  A few other Gemini Crickets families were enrolling their twins, as well as several close friends of mine who had a child the same age.   It was a great way to get out with the kids in a preschool setting with other moms that I knew while getting some much needed parent education in the process.  Being a former teacher myself, I just couldn't get enough of this school!  I felt completely welcomed there and I embraced the child-centered play-based philosophy immediately.  I had so many questions about my own toddlers' development and throw in the fact that I had TWO toddlers going through the exact SAME stages at the SAME time made this program a sanity life saver.

Back to Preschool (yeah or boo)

School starts in a week for my kids (well, truth be told, we are going to miss the first day of school by squeezing in one last vacation!) Last year my kids went to preschool for the first time, and they really blossomed.  

They attend the "Mountain School" in the woods and it is not for the faint of heart.  First of all, the parents are the students, and the kids come to play. Meaning - it's back to school time for the kids ME now!  One of the reasons I chose this school was the chance to do written observations on my kids (10 per kid per semester.)  When does a twin parent have the time to sit back, watch their kids, and take meticulous notes about their children's interactions with others, how they maintain their space, how they enter new territory, etc.  WE DON'T!  Heck, if everyone makes it through the day without a visit to the ER (which we have had 3 so far in our twins' 3 years!) then I call it a good day.  So I chose this school to have an opportunity to maintain a written record of how my kids are changing and adapting.

The other reason the school is not for the faint of heart is because it is MOUNTAIN SCHOOL!  Bugs, rain, creek-walking, mud, poison oak, peeing outside (my daughter is a professional outdoor pee-er!) Don't get me wrong, I love the outdoors.  But when we were on a stroll in the rain one day last year and my daughter came up to me with two really looong worms crawling into the sleeves of her rain jacket, I had to really hold in my squirmy side and not freak out.  She is now the protector of all little bugs and makes sure that we cause no bug any harm.

Topic Week: Back-to-School (recap)

Legions of multiples have headed back to school this month. Some went to preschool. Others to kindergarten. Others to grade school and beyond. Some are in separate classes while others have been kept together. From parent participation schools to public schools to catholic schools, our multiples are out there learning. It's been a learning experience for us parents as well. Some of us can't bear to be without our children at our side, while others are doing the "drop and flee". We're learning the ins and outs of new schools. Some of us are in our childrens' classrooms, poking around and staying involved. Others of us are working full time. A few of us public school kindergarten moms are shocked - shocked! - that as soon as we arrive with our children at school, the doors slam shut and we have no idea what's going on inside that classroom. Some children recount their entire day, while others remain mute. Some children divulge information in fragments.

So this week on Mad About Multiples, since our children are back in school, we're using those precious extra hours to talk about back-to-school.

We are hoping to get a new post up every day... we'll see!

Original post to Mad About Multiples.

Recap September 22, 2009

Whew - We got through back-to-school! Some of us sent twins off to preschool while some of us sent twins to kindergarten. Either way, It's nice to be back into a routine!

Here's what we discussed:

Pam loves her co-op preschool, worms and all: Back to preschool, Yeah or Boo.

Amy isn't sure who loves preschool more: Who Loves Preschool More, Me or Them?

Akemi second guesses her every move: Making the Least Bad Choice: 4-year-olds in Kindergarten.

Daphne quickly gets use to curbside drop-off: The Convenience Factor of Preschool.

Amy M. likes to be busy: Two Parent Participation Preschools? Call me crazy.

Linsey looks back: Ben and Lily's First Few Weeks of Kindergarten is a Mixed Bag.

Linda is relieved: One Year's Reprieve.

Nora LOVES back-to-school: Back to School? Back to the Museums!!!

Original post to Mad About Multiples.

Redirecting Children's Behavior with Etsuko Tsukagoshi

On Wednesday, August 19th, Gemini Crickets is please to be hosting Etsuko Tsukagoshi who will be giving a talk about Redirecting Children's Behavior. Here's a Q&A session between Etsuko and her grad school roommate, now New & Expecting Parent's Liason and mom to toddler twins and preschooler, Mari Beal:

Q: So Etsuko, I've vaguely heard of INCAF, and always thought it stood for “ “I'm Nearing Craziness, Accredited to Family”. Apparently, it stands for something else. Can you please tell me more?

A: Here is a little bit of background on International Network for Children and Families (INCAF) and Redirecting Children’s Behavior(RCB): This course is designed by Kathryn Kvols over 30 years ago based on the Dr. Rudolf Dreikurs, one of America's foremost child psychiatrists’ book “Children: The Challenge”. Since it's creation, the International Network for Children and Families (INCAF), created by Kathryn Kvols, has trained and certified over 1000 instructors. My husband and I took the RCB course right before we had our second baby, and were so impressed by this technique that I wanted to master it. I decided to become an instructor, got certified by INCAF, and I have been the teaching program in San Diego since last fall.

Q: Hmmmm...sound like a class that would take take me a year to complete. I mean, have you *seen* my children?

A: It’s a total of 12.5 hours of instruction, and I usually offer it in once a week course for 5 weeks format. In many cases both parents attend the course, which makes lots of sense, but even if one parent is taking the class, the students can see the difference in their household. I also have many clients who live overseas, so I also offer a lot of coaching over the phone.

Willy the Worm...and Creating Your Own Environmentally Friendly Family

Katja W., one of Gemini Crickets' Co-Vice Presidents, joins us today to tell us about her worms and how they relate to our upcoming meeting on "Creating your Own Environmentally Friendly Family" next Thursday, April 2nd at 7:30pm - click here for the meeting details.

Please meet Willy and his gang. They are our family pets and my children love them dearly.

We have some allergies in the families. So, dogs, cats, hamsters and all the other furry friends are off limit for us. But, we have composting worms and they keep us entertained. They are Red Wiggler Worms, the thoroughbreds of the worm world. They live in a bin in our garage, since they shouldn't be kept outside, where it can be too hot or too cold for them. There are people who even keep them under the kitchen sink. I am not there yet. But, if they are treated well, the bin doesn't smell at all even though you put food scraps in there.

Separate Or Together – For Our Twin Girls, The Answer Is Together

Seems to be that time of the year again...the great debate looms large for many of us parents of multiples. Should we or shouldn't we separate our twins (or more!) in school? For many of us with kids in preschool, it has never really been an issue as many of the schools only had one classroom anyway. But now, they're about to enter Kindergarten and the questions come up from every direction it seems - from other parents, from current schoolteachers, from the school administration.

I swear that a few years ago, fellow moms with twins around the same age as mine had all sworn that we would keep our twins together in the same class come that crucial year – Kindergarten! We were armed with research and statistics that indeed, keeping twins in the same classroom in Kindergarten would certainly help, not hurt them…as many misinformed, misled school officials would have you believe. In fact, there is no research that proves that separating twins at Kindergarten would improve their sense of self, individuality. This idea was put forth by a psychologist based solely on his personal opinion, with no research or experience to back it up.

Many school officials somehow took this as gospel and instituted, albeit unwritten, policies that all twins must be separated at Kindergarten. Well, this has irked many a parent of multiples. And at parents of multiples clubs like Gemini Crickets, members have made sure that other members with younger twins know that this “policy” is bogus and certainly something you, as the parent that knows your multiples better than anyone else, should know and challenge, if necessary.

So, there I was, standing with fellow moms of twins (figuratively speaking, of course), ready to take on the battle. Armed with the knowledge and links to related research, I was biding my time until my girls reached that age. But now, as I look to each side of me, I find I am alone. Many of my fellow twins parents have all but abandoned the fight. What happened?

Kindergarten (Un)Readiness

When I was 5 years old, my mother enrolled me in kindergarten at our neighborhood school. I'm sure she didn't poll her friends to see if they'd be enrolling their age eligible kids in kindergarten because for the most part, she already knew. Most of her friends were also enrolling their children in kindergarten at their neighborhood public school. If we were age eligible, we went. It's just how it was done back then, at least in our middle class California neighborhood. Sure, a few went the private school route and a few more enlightened parents held their autumn birthday children (especially boys) back a year; but in doing so, they didn't conduct a massive search to find the "perfect" kinder prep program in the frenzied manner we do today. In fact, the children I know who sat out that first year, did most of the sitting out at home, playing with their siblings. Had I been born an October baby, I'm quite certain my parents would have enrolled me in kindergarten nonetheless and off to kindergarten I might have marched, a shy 4-year-old who might not have been quite ready.

Getting Creative at the October General Meeting

On Wednesday, October 8, Gemini Crickets members came together to help get the creative juices flowing at our general meeting which was all about crafts!  When picking topics for the year, Katja W. and myself (Co-Vice Presidents) thought it would be fun to have a general meeting focusing on different arts and crafts parents could do with their children, ages toddler on up.  Having been a first grade teacher before having my twins, I immediately thought of Lakeshore Learning as a great place to purchase craft supplies and get tons of easy craft ideas.  They were more than willing to come bring samples of crafts, educational materials, catalogues and coupons (who doesn't love a coupon?).  Parents got the opportunity to try out different products from Lakeshore, including ocean animal stamps with giant (washable!) ink pads, play dough, wikki stixs (waxed yarn pieces that bend, twist and stick to each other), dot markers, beads, paints, colorful Halloween pasta, chalk, and much more!  Lakeshore also offers free crafts for kids every Saturday from 11 am to 3 pm.  A great way to introduce your kids to some new materials you might not have at home and to get more craft ideas to do together.

Former preschool teacher and current nanny to two Gemini Crickets families, Erin B., brought

How to juggle twins (or more!) as they eat, sleep and play? - Join Gemini Crickets' New & Expectant Parents Meeting on Schedules next Wednesday Oct 8th

Many parents of twins think scheduling is the key to sanity in those newborn days and weeks and months. With more than two babies, keeping track of things can be even more important. 

Michelle O., one of Gemini Crickets' fantastic New and Expectant Parent Liaisons, joins us today to talk about our upcoming New & Expectant Parents Meeting on Schedules next Wednesday, September 8th.

Six years ago when I was pregnant with my first child a friend of mine gave me two parenting books, warning me that each was a little ideological and expressed quite different points of view about parenting. The first was “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding,” published by La Leche League International. The second was “On Becoming Babywise,” by Gary Ezzo. I read them both, of course, as I was gobbling up as much information as I could. Man, my friend was not kidding! These two books couldn’t be more different. My husband and I decided to go with the Babywise approach. It offered structure, sanity, sleeping through the night at 8 weeks, all wrapped up in a nice little package. I highlighted portions of the book, dog eared pages, I was set. Then my son was born. Turns out I wasn’t a Babywise kinda gal after all and before I knew what hit me, I was wearing him, nursing him on demand, and sleeping with him!

Then came news that I was pregnant with twins. Where the heck did I put that Babywise book?  Because now...

Kindergarten - the End Game?

A couple weeks ago, we had a guest speaker come to our club’s General Meeting to talk about Kindergarten Readiness. It’s part of a two-part series we offer our members every year. The second part is on Preschool readiness. One of these sessions includes a professional speaker from Parents Place and the other is a panel of parents from the club sharing their own perspectives and knowledge. For the first time this year, we had a professional speaker for the Kindergarten session and a panel of parents for the Preschool topic (switched from last year).

The Kindergarten session was not only eye-opening, it was somewhat of a relief. The speaker focused on the fact that the greatest preparation we could give our kids for Kindergarten is to make sure they attain the self-regulation (e.g., pays attention, controls impulses, follows directions), social expression (e.g., curiosity for learning, tells stories, social play) and self-help/motor skills to be successful at the Kindergarten level. School programs focus on the academics, so a Kindergarten teacher is confident a child can and will learn the academics.